Am I Going To Be Okay?
Weathering the Storms of Mental Illness, Addiction and
Grief
Author: Debra Whittam
Publisher: Turning Point International
Pages: 253
Genre: Memoir/Women’s Psychology/Applied Psychology
Book Description:
Am I Going To Be Okay? is an American
story with a universal message. Ms. Whittam traces her history in the form of
stories about her all too human, and sometimes unhinged family; she throws a rope
to the little girl living there, and in adulthood, is able to pull her out to
safety, bit by bit.
Her history is peopled with folks from a different
time, a time before therapy was acceptable, 12 steps unimaginable and harsh
words, backhands and even harsher silences can be spun to appear almost normal.
She writes of a mother who would not or could not initiate love nor give it
without condition, and a father, damn near heroic at times, abusive at others,
a survivor with his head down and his sleeves rolled up.
Ms. Whittam approaches her past with the clear-eyed
tough but sensitive objectivity necessary to untangle the shame from the
source. She speaks of the people that affected her life so deeply with an
understanding of their time and place in American culture; a family not far
removed from immigrant roots when men carried their own water, emoted misplaced
anger, and with fresh socks and food found on the trail, were confident,
unflinching and at that same time tragical- ly failing to the little ones they
ignored.
Like many of us, details notwithstanding, Whittam
responded by numbing, running and gunning. Alcohol gave her hope, soothed a
crushed soul for a time and wrecked her on a train, until finally she had the
courage to accept it wasn’t working for her anymore. It was time to stop
drinking and take inventory and accountability. It was time to accept, forgive
and move forward. She healed where she was broken.
It is in the telling of this story that Whittam
teaches us the difference between just surviving and surviving well, the
importance of shared introspection and a careful eye on the wake we leave
behind in our actions. Her story is a guide to surviving abuse and addiction.
It is also about witnessing and dealing with the shrinking faculties of aging
parents in the unavoidable circle of life. Finally, she offers a realistic
sense of hope, forgiveness and a life we can shake hands with.
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