A Comedy of Erinn
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Author: Celia Bonaduce
Publisher: eKensington
Pages: 231
Format: Paperback, Kindle
Book Description:
Erinn
Wolf needs to reinvent herself. A once celebrated playwright turned
photographer, she’s almost broke, a little lonely, and tired of her sister’s
constant worry. When a job on a reality TV show falls into her lap, she’s
thrilled to be making a paycheck–and when a hot Italian actor named Massimo
rents her guesthouse, she’s certain her life is getting a romantic subplot. But
with the director, brash, gorgeous young Jude, dogging her every step, she
can’t help but look at herself through his lens–and wonder if she’s been
reading the wrong script all along…
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Excerpt from A Comedy of Erinn
“You’ve
made your point. Now let’s go,” Jude said, trying to take the camera case out
of her hands.
“Oh? And
exactly what is my point?”
“That
you’re the teacher’s pet…the good little camera girl who won’t let a blizzard
stop her. Now let’s get out of here!”
The wind
picked up and Erinn almost lost her balance. She realized that the ground was
starting to freeze underneath them. She admitted to herself that there was no
point in being out – she’d never get a shot worth having, even if they didn’t
freeze to death.
“When
defeat is inevitable, it is wisest to yield,” Erinn yelled to Jude.
“Whatever,
dude. Let’s bounce.”
Jude threw
the gear in the back and felt his way to the passenger side. They both got in
and Erinn started the car. She hoped Jude would stay quiet. She was feeling so
shaky. Not from the cold, but from the realization that she was not being
a good producer. To put it in Jude’s vernacular, she sucked!
Erinn tried
to pull out onto the road, but the wheels just spun on the ice. Erinn and Jude
looked at each other.
“Are we
stuck?” Jude asked.
“We can’t
be,” Erinn said. “This is an SUV. It must be four wheel drive.”
“Not
necessarily,” Jude said. “Do you see any kind of lever or button or anything
that would let you switch to four wheel drive?”
“No. There
isn’t anything. Are we doomed?”
“Doomed? Jesus,
Erinn. You are a glass empty kind of girl, aren’t ya?”
“Actually,
I’m a “the glass is the wrong size” kind of girl…woman…but I think that’s
beside the point right now. What should I do?”
“Start
rocking the car. Put it in first, then reverse, then first, then reverse. Then
give it a little gas and see if we can get out of this.”
Erinn
started shifting gears and made a mental note. Next time, she wouldn’t settle
for anything less than an SUV with four wheel drive.
Miraculously,
the car shot forward. Erinn gasped and Jude slapped her on the shoulder
approvingly. Erinn turned slightly towards what she hoped was the road…it was
so covered in snow that she couldn’t actually see a road, but it must be there.
Making sure no one was coming – fat
chance, she thought – she started inching the Explorer through the
ice and snow. She was creeping forward, when the car became completely
unresponsive and started sliding towards the right. Pushing the gas did
nothing. Turning the steering wheel did nothing.
“Oh, no,”
Erinn said.
“What?”
“The car
has lost traction. We’re skating on the ice.”
Erinn
frantically turned the wheel to right and then to the left. The car continued
to slide.
“Stay cool,
Erinn. We’re on flat ground. Nothing can happen. Just chill.”
Erinn tried
to relax, but the car kept sliding sideways, the weight of the vehicle causing
it to pick up speed. Clearly, they weren’t on completely flat ground or the SUV
wouldn’t be hurling itself sideways, but Erinn decided now was not the time to
argue this point.
Erinn felt
the vehicle tipping. She was jolted violently sideways and caught, suspended,
by the seatbelt. She craned her neck to look at Jude, who was looking UP at her
from the passenger seat. The SUV was completely on its side, like a gigantic
dead beast.
“Now, we’re
doomed,” he said.
Erinn tried
without success to free herself from the seatbelt. With every gyration, the
belt tightened around her neck. She tried to hold still. She craned her neck
and watched Jude brace himself against the passenger door with his right arm.
This gave his seatbelt some slack and he was able to release the lever. He
thudded against the passenger door, but at least he was free. Erinn felt her
breastbone pressing into the seatbelt as she hung sideways. She watched as Jude
twisted himself around, crablike, and faced her. She looked into his eyes.
“The camera
case,” she said.
Jude sat
back on his heels.
“Dude,” he
said. “Seriously? Forget the gear right now. We’re in deep shit.”
“The
camera…” Erinn breathed heavily. “Check the camera…”
“What are
you…one of those freaks who needs to record their own death?
“His or her
own death,” Erinn corrected, gasping. “ ‘One freak’ is singular.”
“You are so
pushing your luck, lady,” Jude said.
Erinn was
running out of breath, and she hung limply forward.
“Come on,
Tin Lizzy,” Jude said, wedging his back against her.
He must
look like Atlas with me on his back instead of the world.
She had her
eyes closed, but she vaguely sensed that he must be standing on the passenger
window…or the passenger arm rest. What if he broke one of them? Would the
rental company charge them? Did she buy the right insurance? Weren’t they in
enough trouble having skidded into a ditch?
Erinn heard
Jude’s voice through the fog. His back was to her.
“When I
lift you up, you need to unhook your seatbelt. Come on, Erinn, you can do this.”
Jude gave
the faintest of pushes, but not enough to lift her.
“Crap,”
Jude said. “I can’t get enough traction with the console in the way.”
Jude turned
around so that he was facing her. Their eyes met.
“The camera
case,” she said.
Jude
ignored her, and tried to lift her off the seat belt, but there was no way
around the console.
“Shit!
Crap!” Jude said.
“Jude…there’s
a knife…” Erinn croaked.
“…in the
camera case!” he said.
Erinn could
hear him scramble to the back of the SUV and unlock the camera case. Erinn was
reminded of sounds one hears when one is drifting off to sleep. Every noise
sounds strangely amplified – and yet the sound is of no interest. She had the
vague sensation of falling and when her head cleared, she was laying on Jude,
up against the passenger window. Jude was panting for breath, knife held aloft.
She could hear the slit seatbelt clanking behind her.
She reached
around Jude’s neck. His expression changed, softening. She touched the
passenger window behind his head.
“Thank God
it’s not broken.”
“Lady, I
have a knife.”
Erinn was
suddenly very aware that she was pressed up against Jude. She tried to lift
herself off him, but each time she thudded back against him.
About the Author
Celia Bonaduce is an
award-winning producer whose credits cover a lot of ground – everything from
field-producing ABC’s Extreme Makeover:
Home Edition to writing for many of Nickelodeon’s animated series,
including Hey, Arnold
An avid reader, entering
the world of books has always been a lifelong ambition. The Merchant of Venice Beach is book one of her three-book deal
with eKensington, a digital imprint of Kensington Publishing Corp. The follow
up novel, A
Comedy of Erinn, has also been released, and book three, Much Ado About Mother, will be coming
out on May 14, 2014 .
You can visit Celia Bonaduce’s website at http://celiabonaduce.com/
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