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Monday, 4 September 2017

Blog Tour Excerpt & Giveaway - Ann, Not Annie by Sage Steadman

Ann, Not Annie
Author: Sage Steadman
Publication date: September 20th, 2017
Genre: YA Contemporary Romance

Book Description:
Ann, not Annie, is tired of her nominal existence and has vowed to turn things around by dating the hottest guy in school, Jacob Waters. Easier said than done since Jacob isn’t even aware she exists. The truth is, due to Ann’s lively temper she spends more time in detention with the rest of the school rejects than she does fantasizing about Jacob Waters wearing spandex. 

Her best friend and devout alien believer, Lisa, doesn’t like the changes she’s seeing in her BFF. Neither does Danny Feller, a fellow detention inmate and resident lost boy who has started keeping an extra watchful and unwanted eye on Ann.

When a chance encounter in an empty hallway changes everything, Ann finds all her dreams coming true and she is well on her way to living the perfect life she’s always wanted. But appearances aren’t always what they seem and Ann is going to have to face not just cold hard facts, but also her past.

On sale for $1.99 throughout the tour!

Buy Links:
Amazon US ¦ UK


From Chapter One

Some people you meet in life are polite, respectful, kind, and docile. They smile at strangers because they know their smile will brighten another person’s day, and it does.

Then there’s Ann. An ill-tempered, loudmouthed, smart-ass who’d been sent to detention for the second time that day and the fifth time that week.

It was Tuesday.

She’d begun the day like any other. Lisa picked her up for school, and they got into an argument over which candy bar was better, Almond Joy or Mounds.

“Almond Joy, hands down,” Lisa insisted. “You need the salt from the nut to balance out the coconut’s sweetness.”

“You just like nuts because you’re a slut,” Ann teased.

Lisa pinched the fat on the underside of Ann’s arm, and Ann punched Lisa in the boob. After that they called a truce, and then Ann chucked both bars at a cheerleader in the parking lot, who happened to be Maggie Shirvey.

Did I love Ann for this? Yes. Is that wrong of me? Probably.

When the principal caught them, Lisa batted her beautiful brown eyes and played innocent. So Ann ended up in detention, alone. Lisa promised to take notes in their first-period child development class. So Ann hugged Lisa instead of punching her in the boob again.

Ann’s second stint in detention was because she often spoke three decibels louder than most clinically sane people, and her idea of whispering was dropping her tone an octave—this coupled with a cursing problem—you get the idea.

So when she thought she had quietly said, “This B-minus is bullshit” after her sophomore English creative writing essay was returned to her by Mrs. Forchester, it was more like, “THIS B-MINUS IS BULLSHIT!”

It wasn’t bullshit, because Ann hadn’t written the essay. She’d bought it from the Internet without checking for spelling errors. Ann also made her comment no quieter than a jackhammer at a construction site, and school-mandated penance followed. Ann did detention like Whitney Houston did cocaine—frequently and without consideration of the consequences. The school’s “no tolerance” policy regarding vulgarity used in the classroom didn’t help either.

As Ann sat in detention for her umpteenth time, she thought, I am a good girl. I’ve never been past second base with a boy even though in eighth grade Johnny Templeton really wanted to. I’ve never drunk or even looked at drugs. And I’ve never shoplifted with Lisa. And I refrained from vandalizing Mr. Sedgwick’s apartment even though he’s a prick for failing me in gym and he totally deserves it.

Well, most of this was true.

Ann forgot about the time she and Lisa drank half a bottle of wine in the eighth grade. Ann was too tipsy to ride her bike home, so Lisa called Ann’s mom for a ride. This was before the accident, when Ann trusted her mom to drive.

Ann reeked of alcohol and knew she would vomit at the slightest onset of movement. To remedy this, Lisa shoved an open jar of peanut butter under Ann’s nose.  “Smell it!” Lisa demanded.

“No!” Ann knocked the jar to the ground. “You know I hate that stuff! Are you trying to make it worse?”

Lisa picked up the jar and stomped her foot. “Do you want to vomit in your mom’s car?”

“No.” Ann held her stomach.

“Then smell it, you crazy bitch!” Lisa shoved the jar under Ann’s nose again.

Ann took a quick whiff. “Oh god, it’s so bad,” she moaned.

After a few sniffs of the hideous, vile, putrid paste, Ann hurled red on a swath of lawn, just before her mom arrived. Then Lisa doused her in perfume. Ann’s mom knew Ann had been drinking, but the natural consequences were enough so her mom didn’t punish her further.

About the Author 
Sage Steadman was awarded a master’s degree in social work from the University of Utah. While pursuing her passion for writing, she worked as a licensed mental health therapist. She published her debut novel, “Snowflake Obsidian: Memoir of a Cutter,” in 2010 under her pen name, The Hippie, and since, re-released the second edition under her real name. The novel has been deemed an “idyllic” read, filled with love, humor, romance and heart. She is also the co-author of the gritty and inspiring historical fiction novel, “Upon Destiny’s Song,” alongside classical guitarist, Mike Ericksen, and has penned an article on teen cutting for Canadian Magazine, “Edmonton’s Child.” She has recently produced a stunning and thought-reflecting novella entitled, “The Waking Dream.” Sage is heralded as a talented writer who tackles her novels with a witty, raw and honest approach. She currently lives near Salt Lake City, Utah with family.

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  1. The book description and excerpt sounds intriguing. Thanks for sharing. Love the cover too.

  2. Sounds awesome!